I know I'm so late on writing this post! I am sorry, i totally blame it on being so sick and stressed out last week. I had a migraine that put me out of commission and thought i was losing my milk supply. Its a real problem and scared me so much i probably stressed way too much and made it worse. Anyways I am so excited about these link up topics and love hearing and giving advice on raising babes and toddlers so its perfect.
This link up was on how to tame the temper tantrum. Where to begin? Have any of you met my overly dramatic 2 year old? She is the one with red hair, blue eyes, a high pitched scream and is probably laying on the ground kicking her feet. Needless to say, I am not the master tamer of the tantrum that is for sure. I surprisingly became pregnant again just before Leighton turned 1 and at the time i thought i had given birth to the most perfect child on the planet. Leighton was so smart, and so mild tempered i knew the fit throwing was not in my future. About 6 months in to my pregnancy every idea i had about Leighton drastically changed. When Leighton was 18 months old (and i was ready to pop) i found myself in a friends living room trying to put Leighton to bed and staring in shock and horror as she screamed her head off and turned into a crazy child. I am serious, crazy! She even shook a lamp. Every fear i had ever had about having two babies so close together was about to come to life and I was not ready for it. After a few weeks of pretending like Leighton wasn't a normal almost two year old who threw fits and cried to get her way i reminded myself... I have spent the last 5 years in the classroom learning how to handle this, learning how to calm children and how to ultimately tame a tantrum. In the past i had worked with children using numerous ways to calm them including, holding, time outs, redirecting and ignoring.
Recognize What They Need
If there is one thing you take away from this it should be this, ever child is different, every child requires a different form of love as well discipline. Leighton loves to be held, cuddled, kissed and recognized through touch. If i use that against her it only makes bad times worse. If i was to hold Leighton when she is throwing a fit to get her to calm down it would take twice as long and it would devastate her, the same goes for spanking. Since i know she needs to be loved by touch i make an extra effort to give her hugs, to hold her on my lap when we talk, give her piggy back rides when we play and carry her around when Emersyn is alright on her own. Doing this cuts the fits down a ton. She knows she is loved and a huge part of her needs are being met.
Understand Why They Are Upset
Sometimes Leighton freaks out just to freak out, but more often than not there is a specific need not being met and I need to help her meet it. Leighton tends to become more upset when she is late for a nap or has skipped one all together. She cries over food i don't want her to eat when she is hungry or when she has skipped a snack or meal. When we are shopping or out and about i know she feels ignored or bored out of her mind when she cries for an item or throws herself to the ground for what seems like no reason at all. Fits like these can often be fixed by knowing what they need, this is when redirection works best and a positive attitude. (Ex. Are you Hungry? I am sorry you can't eat that bag of candy but i will get you some oranges.) Pointing out the actual feeling they have helps them to learn that feeling doesn't mean they need to scream and cry but that they want to eat or whatever the need may be.
Stay Calm
I am the first to admit that this isn't easy. But tantrums are so much easier if you can do it. If its too hard to deal, then separate yourself from the situation. Leave the room, put your child in their room. Breathe and give yourself space from the moment. Maybe it will pass on its own, if not then start from the beginning, what does your child respond to best and what is the main reason for the tantrum in the first place? Then move forward with the action you see fit. Sometimes children need the tough punishment, sometimes they need to ignored and sometimes they just need to be loved. Make your choice and follow through. Even if a huge punishment is in order stay calm while doing it. The more high strung you are, the more your child will feed off of it. The calmer you are, the calmer it is for them to be. One method i use most of the time, wether it works or not is counting to three. This not only helps me to stay in check but tends to get Leighton's attention and lets her know if her behavior does not stop then there will be a punishment. 1...2...3... somedays all this does is helps her to count but at least something is being learned right?
Pictures by- Mckenzie Felt
What ways have you found to be successful in taming tantrums? Is there a special cure all for the two year old out there? If so i want that magic potion please!
