As I stood in my living room this afternoon, bouncing Emersyn to sleep I felt overwhelmed with a feeling of comfort. For that brief moment I knew I was doing exactly what I am meant to do.
Ever since I returned home from Nashville I have felt a little lost and out of place. Camille and I decided that it was best if she was the sole owner of the store. I am happy with the decision we made but it doesn't make it any easier. For the past year it has been all I have thought about, worked on and dreamed of. I even forgot I was pregnant because I was so focused on the store. What an adventure the past year has been. I have grown in ways i never knew i could and learned so many things that will help me in any direction i decide to go from here.
Since we won't be moving I feel a need to really find my place here in Utah. To make friends and feel at home with where we are. Hopefully this will be easy for me. I have started planning a redo of our entire house. Last year we spent several months making it ready to sell, now I'm going to take time to make it a place we would like to live.
I am dreaming of new endeavors, planning big things for our future and truly focusing on the two sweet spirits I am blessed to call my daughters. Every day has seemed special and like something was missing at the same time. In my quiet moment earlier i realized for the first time that i didnt feel a need to check my pocket for the store phone. Simple, yet comforting. I have the opportunity to be a mother. I have always wanted to be successful in whatever profession i ended up in. I never only wanted to be a mom. Now i can see how much i misunderstood the role of a mother and how getting to only be a mom is one of the greatest blessings any woman can be given.
Devoting my time to my home, my husband and my daughters is fulfilling. It is not always easy. I need a lot of practice in it. But being home and completely focused on my family truly allows me to see just how beautiful life really is.
