MMM- Most Important Work

I have been horrible at blogging lately and want to get back on schedule so bad and then i look at the list of things i have to do and don't even know where to begin, so i usually concur a few things and spend the rest of the day chasing the girls. I desperately need to organize my time better. Right now i have a personal fight with sleeping too much or too little and then work in middle of the night on one job and in the morning on another and have the third filling me with excitement and creativity 24/7 so i just want to work on it all of the time. So the blog gets pushed aside and I am just lucky i take the time to play with the littles. While pondering how to better set up my schedule I came across this quote and could only think, how fitting. It doesn't matter where my time is spent as long as most of it is on my girls. I really do believe if i take care of my relationships with family first everything else will fall into place. 

Let Them Eat Out

This weeks link up is a hard one for me. We eat out all of the time and my secret trick to eating out? Leave a BIG tip. Kids are messy and they are loud and you just take it for what it is. Really though we travel a lot and we eat well. Food is our favorite thing and we don't hold back from eating at nice restaurants because we have children. Don't get me wrong, its not like we let them just go crazy but i don't stress too much when Leighton wants to walk in circles around our table or take a couple of trips to see the fish in the front of the building. I do tend to go prepared with coloring books and movies on the phone. We try to keep Leighton distracted as long as possible, eat as much as she can and then we plop the iphone in front of her until our meals are gone. Its probably not the most ideal form of entertainment for her but praise the Lord for unlimited data, right!?

  What is your secret trick to eating out with your little one?  Check out the other mama's blogs for even more tips!  And be sure to link up with us below if you also have a post on this.  

Like a Morning Cup of Coffee// From Here to Eternity// The Not Quite Military Wife//

A Cowboy's Life// My Delicious Adventure// Sadie Sky Boutique// Meet the Sullivan's//

Love and Life//  Foxy's Domestic Side// Everyday Love// Life of Faith

July 10:  Keeping your marriage alive with a toddler

July 17:  Favorite summer toddler activities

July 24:  Helping Your Toddler to Communicate (Words, emotions, etc.)

July 31:  Dealing with Separation Anxiety

Aug 7:    Car Trip Necessities

Aug 14:  Deciding when the time is right for baby #2 (and/or how to handle these questions)

Aug 21:  Tricks for eating out with your toddler

Aug 28:  Feeling confident as a mom (How to feel this way, Your struggle with, etc.)

An InLinkz Link-up

When Is The Right Time?

Once upon a time there was a boy and girl all they wanted was to have a baby. Eventually they did. Then all they wanted was to spoil that one baby forever and ever. Or at least for 3 years. Then all of the sudden the girl became very ill, laying on the ground cursing her morning chai latte next to the toilet ill and 10 months into their sweet spoiled babies life she told the boy another baby was on the way. 

True story! Kaden and I were just fine having one baby. We honestly could not imagine every loving another child as much as we loved Leighton and that just wouldn't be fare to our other children. We were convinced if we were going to have more kids they would't come for a long time. We wanted to have a few years to prepare ourselves mentally and financially for another baby. Clearly someone had other plans for us and we couldn't be happier that they did. Emersyn is loved just as much as Leighton. Our hearts have only grown with the birth of both our girls and now when someone asks when the third one is coming i just reply hopefully soon. Deciding to have children is a huge step, deciding to have more is an even bigger one. It is scary, you already took on a huge financial burden how can you afford another? (Children are financial burdens, sorry) You love your first child sooo much you cant possibly have more love left in your heart. What about your bond with your first and all of the fun things you do together? You just got use to your freedom and figuring out how to handle one, why give that up?

 I totally might offend people by saying this, but because you want your child to be a nice functioning person in society. Really though Leighton would be so spoiled if we never had Emersyn. She is already a handful but she would be a brat on top of it. I know a lot of people are only children or only have one child and that is great. We just personally don't have the right set of parenting skills to raise a good person with out a sibling to help teach them. Thinking of having two babies so close together seemed like the worst/scariest idea ever but guess what? It is the best thing that has ever happened to us. I hopefully will be done having babies super soon and on to a boob job and having my body back and it will be amazing! I am dead serious when i say that too. I also love the bond that Leighton and Emersyn are forming. They really do adore each other and they are close enough in age that they can grow up doing everything together. Choosing when/if to have another baby is very personal though and everyone knows it, but everyone loves commenting or asking on when it will happen. You have to find your own way of dealing with it. I tend to joke with people and say light hearted things like oh i have no idea these two might be enough or I love this one so much i dont need another. People don't need details they just want some sort of response. So give them one and make your decision with your partner and if things dont go as planned, just know it all turns out okay.

  Hopefully you can relate to all of these Baby #2 talks this week!  Check out the other mama's blogs for even more!  And be sure to link up with us below if you also have a post on this.  

Like a Morning Cup of Coffee// From Here to Eternity// The Not Quite Military Wife//

A Cowboy's Life// My Delicious Adventure// Sadie Sky Boutique// Meet the Sullivan's//

Love and Life//  Foxy's Domestic Side// Everyday Love// Life of Faith

Aug 14:  Deciding when the time is right for baby #2 (and/or how to handle these questions)

Aug 21:  Tricks for eating out with your toddler

Aug 28:  Feeling confident as a mom (How to feel this way, Your struggle with, etc.)

An InLinkz Link-up

Road Trip Survival Guide (from an expert mommy traveler)

We are on the go so often that sometimes when we load up in the car i have the tumble weed song from  Fievle Goes West playing in my head. Rollin, rollin, rollin, keep rollin, rollin, rollin, rawhide! 

Okay hopefully im not the only one that feels that way. Luckily i have been blessed with two great little travelers. These babes pretty much have been on the go, in the car since the day they were born. Both of them started their long distance car rides at just a couple weeks and the treks have just kept getting longer. Since i consider myself a travel expert i have came up with a few items that you MUST have to survive a trip via car. 

Lets call it the Rollin, Survival Kit

1.Back Pack To store everything in of course, 

2. I am pretty sure this is how miracle worker is spelled-IPad. I know this isn't in everyones budget but if you are brave and run errands and travel a lot with your kids I promise the investment is well worth it.  I can not even count how many times turning on sesame street or an app has saved both mine and Leightons lives.

3. mirror this is for the rear facing babes. It is so nice to know when Em is awake or not and to give me peace of mind that she is still alive when she has been quiet for a long time.

4. head rest this should be self explanatory.

5. coloring activities Hello best coloring inventions ever! So besides playing on the iPad, coloring can keep Leighton entertained for hours and the plus side to both of these, no mess! 

6. Mostly mess free snacks Because your littles will get hungry and you don't want to stop to feed them.

Even though stopping every 2 hours is recommended

7. Books Why not work on those ABC's while you have the time? Not only do we read but we play games. Find a letter or an animal etc. Its like having eye spy in your hands.

I'd love to hear what your road trip go too's are and don't forget to link up!

Have questions about traveling? Feel free to ask! Don't want to leave a comment?

Email me at hello@loveandlife-blog.com

  Hopefully you can find these tips helpful for your summer travels.  Make sure to check out the other mama's blogs for even more tips!  And be sure to link up with us below if you also have a post on this.

Like a Morning Cup of Coffee// From Here to Eternity// The Not Quite Military Wife//

A Cowboy's Life// My Delicious Adventure// Sadie Sky Boutique// Meet the Sullivan's//

Love and Life//  Foxy's Domestic Side// Everyday Love// Life of Faith

July 10:  Keeping your marriage alive with a toddler

July 17:  Favorite summer toddler activities

July 24:  Helping Your Toddler to Communicate (Words, emotions, etc.)

July 31:  Dealing with Separation Anxiety

Aug 7:    Car Trip Necessities

Aug 14:  Deciding when the time is right for baby #2 (and/or how to handle these questions)

Aug 21:  Tricks for eating out with your toddler

Aug 28:  Feeling confident as a mom (How to feel this way, Your struggle with, etc.)

An InLinkz Link-up

One Year and Beyond- Keeping your marriage alive

This weeks link up is about keeping your marriage alive with a toddler. I have been thinking about this a lot lately. Kaden and I have an awesome relationship but I have wondered what exactly we do to keep it that way. After two babies we seem to still be as lovey as ever. After paying attention to the two of us the past week I have came up with a few of the ways we keep our marriage alive. 

- We take interest in each others dreams. Kaden and I are huge dreamers and we talk about our ideas all the time. Our best talking time is in the car. It seems like we get a little one on one time when we drive. Basically we just tune out the two babies behind us and drift back to the time before they weren't around.

- We flirt. When Kaden walks in the door from work he is almost always greeted with a kiss. When i make dinner Kaden bugs me as he walks through the kitchen. We tease each other, call each other babe and laugh a lot. 

- We share the responsibility of putting Leighton to bed. This takes a lot of stress off of me and helps us to both be in good moods before we go to sleep. 

- We date. This is a big one. We love our children. Leighton and Emersyn are the best part of the our little family but time away is good for all of us. Dating after having the girls didn't come easy for us. We tend to do everything with the girls and we love it so we never even thought we needed more time alone. Then one day I wanted a break, we went to a movie and our lives were changed forever. Dating is the best thing you can do for your marriage. 

When you are chasing crazy stressful children around all day. Making time for one another doesn't always seem realistic. If you want to keep your marriage going strong, stay intimate with one another and have a fulfilling relationship, you have to develop a plan. For most couples i know that a loving relationship doesn't come as naturally as it did before children entered the picture. Being open with each other and deciding how you are going to stay close is the best way to start. When you are on the same page it is so much easier to know what will help you to get past the fact that your world is being rocked by a 2 year old. The four simple things we do help us to continue to grow closer and feel loved. 

One Year and Beyond is back!!  We just couldn't stay away from this awesome toddler series.  We've gotten so much positive response so far.  Motherhood can be difficult especially with a toddler at home.  So we're here to talk toddler issues, mom to mom.  We've got a great group of mamas who are offering their advice on getting through those challenging times with their child.  Be sure to check out their blogs and then link up your own post on the topic with us below!

Like a Morning Cup of Coffee// From Here to Eternity// The Not Quite Military Wife//

A Cowboy's Life// My Delicious Adventure// Sadie Sky Boutique// Meet the Sullivan's//

Love and Life//  Foxy's Domestic Side// Everyday Love// Life of Faith

July 10:  Keeping your marriage alive with a toddler

July 17:  Favorite summer toddler activities

July 24:  Helping Your Toddler to Communicate (Words, emotions, etc.)

July 31:  Dealing with Separation Anxiety

Aug 7:    Car Trip Necessities

Aug 14:  Deciding when the time is right for baby #2 (and/or how to handle these questions)

Aug 21:  Tricks for eating out with your toddler

Aug 28:  Feeling confident as a mom (How to feel this way, Your struggle with, etc.)

An InLinkz Link-up

A Not So Normal Sleep Routine

Before Leighton was born i had a list of do's and don'ts for raising children. At the top of my list. Do establish routines for bed and do follow it to a T. I had watched as people around me figured out what worked best and what didn't with their kids, I read several books on sleep and sleep routines. My favorite book? Healthy Sleep Habbits, Happy Child. It made perfect sense to me. It described all of the differences in babies with colic or not, babies who breast or bottle fed and that every baby is just different in some way. I stuck to this books plan and life was good until life got very very busy. I stressed myself out way to much trying to make sure Leighton got 3 naps a day at least 45 minutes long and got to bed at the right time. I am not quite exactly sure when this happened but at some point, I gave up. I decided that my baby was happy and healthy and that she would sleep when she needed to. Guess what!? It works. Not every day is a dream but honestly when Leighton is tired she goes to sleep. If she only has 1 nap a day instead of 2 she goes to bed earlier that night. We are constantly on the move and my girls adapt so much better to traveling and a change of plans when they aren't held to a strict schedule, and so do i. I know this is not the norm. Everyone says put your babes on a set schedule. Children love routine! And its true, they really do and with all of my schooling in education I know how importnant routine is. I just don't keep a strict one. I know that an hour after Em first wakes up she will go down for a nap. Then she naps between 12-2 and again around 5-6 then goes to sleep at 830-9. Leighton is down to 1 long nap or 2 short ones. When i know she is need of a long nap i plan all of our outings for the day out so that we will head home around 1 and that is when she falls asleep. If she falls asleep in the car, she will be out for a couple of hours. Still all very different than how most moms handle naps but it is what works. It works not only for my babes but me as well. Fighting the sleep battles is not fun or easy, but finding what works for you is so different with every family. You need to establish the routine that works not only for your kids, or is what the best book every suggests, but what works for you as well. 

This is the last of the Toddler Topics link up. To read others take on sleep click here.

Unwanted Advice

People love to give advice. It's natural. It seems like everyone likes to think that others should do what they are doing, but it's more that people like to feel helpful. If you have had a baby then you know this is true. If you dont believe me post a simple question on Facebook epidural or natural?" Or a statement "I've tried for 3 days to get my baby to sleep and it's not happening" 100+ comments I swear. When you are given advice you weren't asking for how do you deal? I'm not great at this, a lot of the time I laugh about it or I tell people close to me followed by a can you believe that, or it's crazy. Then I usually realize their is some help in the unsolicited advise that was given. When I told a woman from church I was pregnant I got to hear for 2 hours how to properly have a baby at home. With out a midwife. I never intended to have my baby at home and I still don't. The hospital is plenty comfortable for me. But I listened. 

Before Leighton was born I swore on my life the girl would never eat sugar, ever!  I was really good about it until the day she turned 1. Then it was too hard to be a helicopter mom and tell everyone around me not to feed my child and to explain that although fruit snacks seem healthy, they are full of sugar. The advice I was given... Don't be hard on yourself when your kid starts eating sugar. I heard this over and over again and everytime I wanted to freak out. Sometimes I tried to argue but it was always better when I listened. Now Leighton might not be the healthiest toddler on the block. She is dairy free due to allergies and making her sugar free made for an almost impossible diet. She obviously loves sugar just like the next kid. I monitor her intake but I don't feel bad when she eats it. That advise I didn't ask for, well it happens to be useful more often than you'd think. Be a listening person and acknowledge what is being said. You never know if you'll use it or not. Heck maybe I'll have to deliver my next baby at home on the toilet, you never know. By listening you save yourself an argument and fulfil the other persons need to be helpful. 

Check out the other link up posts here.

Boobs to Bottles- Learn from My Mistake

Today's linked up topic is on transitioning from breast or formula feeding to milk. I have absolutely zero experience with formula feeding so i will talk about breast feeding to milk and you all can learn from all of my mistakes in this area. 

I have been blessed with the opportunity to breast feed both of my beautiful babies. I honestly was all about it with Leighton and so much so i was determined to feed her until she was at least two. I read so many great things about bonding and health that i was not opposed to feeding as long as she possibly would. That did not work out how i had hoped though. I started to lose my milk supply just a few weeks into my second pregnancy. Leighton was only 10 months old and i didn't even know i was pregnant yet. I got nervous and did everything i could to get it back. With out much luck Leighton slowly began taking more and more bottles, and by the time she was 11 1/2 months old she was almond milk from a bottle only. Not only was I devastated but Leighton was a year old and for the first time hooked on a bottle. (She drinks almond milk because she is allergic to dairy, and we aren't huge dairy fans anyways)

Break my heart here is the mistake i made... I transitioned her to a bottle. Wow was that stupid! Judge all you want, I have a 2 year old that takes a bottle every night before bed. I am a total push over but I changed her comfort from me to a bottle. 

Still I suggest breast feed as long as possible! The health benefits are out of this world. I know some people are turned off by breast feeding, it's possible to do in good taste. Use a cover or feed in private. If you are able it is the most loving and beneficial act you can do for your baby. It has been a beautiful and very fulfilling experience with both if my girls and not to mention it's saved sooo much money. 

When it is time to introduce milk. I think around 1 year is the easiest and healthiest time to do this, start with a sippy. Oh how I wish I would have. Milk or Almond milk is usually much sweeter and is almost like a treat so it's not that hard of a transition for the milk itself. But remember breast feeding is not only about milk, it's about comfort and attachment too. Help your child to find comfort in other ways than nursing. Introducing a stuffed animal or blanket is great at this time and make sure to still hold and cuddle your little one. They will notice a lack of physical contact if you don't. 

For mamas, remember this transition might not be easy on you. Your hormones will change. You might break out or feel very emotional. It is so normal, just be aware of it. You might be needing all the holding and cuddles you get from your little one too! 

When you get to this point I wish you the best of luck! How have you transitioned from breast milk to milk? 

Don't forget to check out the other bloggers and their experiences in the link up! 

1...2...3...

I know I'm so late on writing this post! I am sorry, i totally blame it on being so sick and stressed out last week. I had a migraine that put me out of commission and thought i was losing my milk supply. Its a real problem and scared me so much i probably stressed way too much and made it worse. Anyways I am so excited about these link up topics and love hearing and giving advice on raising babes and toddlers so its perfect.

This link up was on how to tame the temper tantrum. Where to begin? Have any of you met my overly dramatic 2 year old? She is the one with red hair, blue eyes, a high pitched scream and is probably laying on the ground kicking her feet. Needless to say, I am not the master tamer of the tantrum that is for sure. I surprisingly became pregnant again just before Leighton turned 1 and at the time i thought i had given birth to the most perfect child on the planet. Leighton was so smart, and so mild tempered i knew the fit throwing was not in my future. About 6 months in to my pregnancy every idea i had about Leighton drastically changed. When Leighton was 18 months old (and i was ready to pop) i found myself in a friends living room trying to put Leighton to bed and staring in shock and horror as she screamed her head off and turned into a crazy child. I am serious, crazy! She even shook a lamp. Every fear i had ever had about having two babies so close together was about to come to life and I was not ready for it. After a few weeks of pretending like Leighton wasn't a normal almost two year old who threw fits and cried to get her way i reminded myself... I have spent the last 5 years in the classroom learning how to handle this, learning how to calm children and how to ultimately tame a tantrum. In the past i had worked with children using numerous ways to calm them including, holding, time outs, redirecting and ignoring. 

Recognize What They Need

If there is one thing you take away from this it should be this, ever child is different, every child requires a different form of love as well discipline. Leighton loves to be held, cuddled, kissed and recognized through touch. If i use that against her it only makes bad times worse. If  i was to hold Leighton when she is throwing a fit to get her to calm down it would take twice as long and it would devastate her, the same goes for spanking. Since i know she needs to be loved by touch i make an extra effort to give her hugs, to hold her on my lap when we talk, give her piggy back rides when we play and carry her around when Emersyn is alright on her own. Doing this cuts the fits down a ton. She knows she is loved and a huge part of her needs are being met.

Understand Why They Are Upset

Sometimes Leighton freaks out just to freak out, but more often than not there is a specific need not being met and I need to help her meet it. Leighton tends to become more upset when she is late for a nap or has skipped one all together. She cries over food i don't want her to eat when she is hungry or when she has skipped a snack or meal. When we are shopping or out and about i know she feels ignored or bored out of her mind when she cries for an item or throws herself to the ground for what seems like no reason at all. Fits like these can often be fixed by knowing what they need, this is when redirection works best and a positive attitude. (Ex. Are you Hungry? I am sorry you can't eat that bag of candy but i will get you some oranges.) Pointing out the actual feeling they have helps them to learn that feeling doesn't mean they need to scream and cry but that they want to eat or whatever the need may be.

           

Stay Calm

I am the first to admit that this isn't easy. But tantrums are so much easier if you can do it. If its too hard to deal, then separate yourself from the situation. Leave the room, put your child in their room. Breathe and give yourself space from the moment. Maybe it will pass on its own, if not then start from the beginning, what does your child respond to best and what is the main reason for the tantrum in the first place? Then move forward with the action you see fit. Sometimes children need the tough punishment, sometimes they need to ignored and sometimes they just need to be loved. Make your choice and follow through. Even if a huge punishment is in order stay calm while doing it. The more high strung you are, the more your child will feed off of it. The calmer you are, the calmer it is for them to be. One method i use most of the time, wether it works or not is counting to three. This not only helps me to stay in check but tends to get Leighton's attention and lets her know if her behavior does not stop then there will be a punishment. 1...2...3... somedays all this does is helps her to count but at least something is being learned right?

Pictures by- Mckenzie Felt

What ways have you found to be successful in taming tantrums? Is there a special cure all for the two year old out there? If so i want that magic potion please!

Motherly Advice {Seek Adventure}

We all know that going to the grocery store with a toddler and 5 month old may be an adventure in itself but somehow i have decided there is a need for more. When we stay home 5 days a week except for visits to the gym we all tend to go a little crazy. Maybe me more than the girls but i am convinced Leighton is way more well behaved when she gets some fresh air and sunshine. 

Now that the sun is out and summer is just around the corner it is time to start planning all the adventures you want to go on. Vacations, day trips, park outings, pool days, whatever your heart desires. Seriously seek after it. Immerse your children in it. 

At the end of last summer i discovered my love for hiking. This year i plan to hike as many times as we possibly can, i am not kidding when i say i want to hike at least once a week. Southern Utah is like one ginormous hikers play ground. How in the world am i supposed to hike with a crazy 2 year old and a baby? It is not easy, I will tell you that right now.

 Courtney and I attempted our first run at it last week. We were not prepared for the hour it took us to sunscreen, chase, change, and pack on all the kids, but now that we have done it once we are convinced it will be easier next time. 

If you are a hiker and want to try it out with your kids here is my advice... always use the buddy system (take another adult), wear sunscreen (at least lather your kids in it), bring a ton of water, and be very very patient. Walking at a toddlers pace is not always easy but if you try to see the hike through their eyes you will enjoy the beauty around you soooo much more.

If i learned anything in all of my child development courses it was that children learn through experiences. These little ones are total sponges just waiting to soak up whatever we allow them to. Go ahead be brave, and seek adventures and take your littles along to experience them with you. 

Motherly Advice {Love More}

Earlier this week a friend told me how horrible she felt for snapping at her daughter. I had to Laugh, has she ever met Leighton? The poor girl gets snapped at daily. Honestly we are lucky if I don't shut myself away for a moment so I don't throw her across the room. 

I told her welcome to the club of Toddler moms and didn't think much of it. Until last night. I cuddled with Leighton and thought for a long time about the difference in Leightons good days and bad. I thought about  how i compare my children and its not fare that i do. Then i thought about how Kaden and I feel about our place within our families. 

I hate to admit it, but it hit me like a ton of bricks. I just need to love more. Both of my babies are loving  and sweet, just in different ways. To communicate with Leighton successfully i need to do it in a loving manor, but in a way that she considers loving, not me. I really need to read Love Language book again and figure out exactly what hers are. But for now Instead of being angry or fighting with her, I am going to work on teaching her and letting her know how absolutely loved she is. 

This doesnt only work for toddlers going through their terrible twos though, love is something everyone wants to feel. Maybe your having a rough time with your spouse, a sibling, or friend. Just make sure they know how much you love them. It never hurts to love more.

Motherly Advice {Being a Holy Woman}

A couple of weeks ago I read the most eye opening little book. Now if you aren't religious don't go running when I say the title is How to be a Holy Woman. This book fell on my head (literally) around Christmas time when I was looking for gifts for a few of the special women in my life. My mother in law passed it on to me after she finished with it. Basically it was about asking yourself what holiness means and how to help yourself to become a holier person.

What did I take from it? What are my priorities? Do i focus on them? How can I use my time for better rather than for useless things. 

I realized if I am going to be better I need to be present in my daughters lives, I stay home with them but it is so easy for me to stick them in front of the tv and focus on the home, work, and working out. While those things are great too they are not what is most important. I need to take time to focus on my childrens needs. 

I also need to work on supporting my husband. I have talked about this a lot. Lately I have felt very upset with how severely under paid he is. I tell him constantly to ask for a raise, his job doesn't appreciate how hard he works, and that they'll never let him move up where he is at. (Even though it's all true) I need to stop. I need to let him know he is a hard worker, that I appreciate how hard he works for our family and that if he is happy with what he does, then I am as well. 

Being a wife and mother is not always easy. I tend to feel like I'm always trying to "keep up". This is the last thing I am going to be working on. If I want to be holier or just better in general, I need to quit comparing myself to others and measure myself only against my past self. Have I improved from where I was a year ago? I'm not sure. But i plan to track my progress this way from now on.

Now on to my advice to you. What do you think a holy woman would do? Are you doing those things? Are you truly striving everyday to be better? If not, then make your own list. Put what you feel is most important at the top and start there. Everytime you feel that slight question in your mind whether what you are doing is right or not ask yourself will this make be a better person, is this what a holy woman would do? If not, change your course of action. I promise it helps. So far it has helped me to be calmer, to enjoy my children more and to see how simple life can be and still feel fulfilling.