1 week old

Lived

- Leighton and I came home from the hospital Friday afternoon to a clean home full of love. I felt especially grateful for my cleaning addiction when we got here, between 3 days of no sleep and a constant schedule of Lortab my OCD was on full blast and it only got worse the more visitors we had. I absolutely loved having visitors though! No matter how tired I was I seriously felt so special that so many people wanted to meet my beautiful little girl.

- My mom stayed all weekend to help me adjust to life as a mommy myself. I have no idea how anyone could survive without help with a new baby. When I was overly exhausted my mom helped me have the strength to take care of Leighton and she stayed up at night with me encouraging me and coaching me. I am so grateful for my mom and for all she has always done for me. She is so infatuated with Leighton now and I know she will be an amazing grandma just like her mom was to me. My mom actually sent me a text on Tuesday saying she is ready to move up here just so she can spend all of her time with Leighton.

- Nancy stayed and helped me adjust as well. She honestly was such a life saver. Monday Leighton had a doctors appointment that we would have never made it to if I was going to have to go alone. (I'll mention more about why in what I learned this week.) She also made sure we ate and helped keep me company through Leighton's few fussy days.

- I had lots of other visitors, including grandparents, great aunts and uncles, and friends. Whitney came to stay the night and I was unbelievably excited! It is so amazing to know that we are still that close of friends after all this time. Having Whitney here was like a dream, in high school I would tend to wonder how it would be between my friends and me when we reached these stages in our lives and for the most part we have been nothing short of supportive of one another. I don't really know how to describe how that feels or how much it means to me other than to say i hope every girl has a chance to have at least one friend like this in their life, and I am blessed with several.

- Life for poor Tiffany hasn't been so great. She was so confused when we were gone to the hospital and the day we came home we made the mistake of dressing Leighton in a cheetah outfit. When we brought her in the house and introduced them Tiffany kind of treated her like she was another animal. As soon as Tiff realized Leighton was a baby Leighton became Tiffany's baby. If Leighton cries Tiff has to make her better by licking her or coming and actually taking me to Leighton. Tiffany is Judy beside herself when we don't let her by Leighton, so much so that I swear she gained like 10 pounds just over the weekend. (Tiff is definitely a nervous eater.)

- Also huge news! My TOMS came! I seriously have been waiting for this things since January when i ordered them the day they were released and they were already back ordered till March. Actually a little after Leighton was born (on Thursday) i checked my email and about screamed for Joy. I honestly said its amazing! I got to have my baby and get my Toms on the same day.

Learned

- Leighton fed so well in the hospital I thought she was a little miracle eater, but when we got home she turned into a bird and because she ate like a bird she acted like a Taradactul. At her first doctors appointment on Monday I asked my doctor all about why this is happening and why she wouldn't eat, why she wouldn't poop and why I'm up for literally 3-4 hours at a time during the night. My answers were all... It's perfectly normal. Well I learned a lot from this. 1. As much as I like my doctor don't ask a man about something that only a woman's body can do. 2. Always, always ask to work with a lactation specialist before leaving the hospital. 3. It is normal for your baby to not poop while eating like a bird, but you don't want s baby bird. You want a baby human and a baby human sure is what I had. Leighton is now an eating, sleeping, pooping machine. Honestly things like this make me just realize even more the miracle that babies are. It amazes me to know that the seven pounds I'm holding will one day be a beautiful grown woman. ( of course I am going to pretend for the rest of her life that she is this little.)

- Yesterday I made my way out to the school to see my academic advisor and just relearned something I tend to every semester. My academic advisor is crazy and has no idea what she is talking about. I am not quite sure what I expected her to say when I asked her what I should do about my failing predicament this semester but she suggested I work hard to get my grades up. Uhh I just smiled and said I'd try. When the semester is over half way over and and you have a 50 in both of your two classes the chances of getting your grade up is about impossible. So withdrawing from this semester was the other option i was left with and what my teachers suggested. As important as school is to me, it doesn't come close to how important giving all of my time to Leighton is.

Loved

- There have been so many things about this week that i have loved but there are two that i feel out weigh all of them. The first has been to see how Kaden has completely turned into a dad. I will admit i was worried sometimes while i was pregnant about the role he would want to play in Leighton's life while she was so little. A lot of Leavitt men are some what scared of tiny babies and prayed this wouldn't be Kaden. The moment she was born i knew his life had changed forever. Not only was he amazing supporting me through labor, he couldn't stand to leave her side from the moment she was set on my tummy. It is so neat to see the two of them together. I know they already have such a strong bond and will forever. When Kaden holds her she instantly calms down and if she is awake she cant take her eyes off of him. She honestly stares into his face with the cutest little in love look ever. Kaden has offered to help with everything, he changes diapers, and gets her dressed, and he is worried about when she bathes or taking her out of the house. He is even driving safer when she is in the car. When Kaden gets home in the morning he even asks if he can hold her while he sleeps. I am so grateful for their special relationship and for how much love he has for her. I couldn't imagine there being anyway of being a better father.

- This past week I have loved holding Leighton. Awake or sleeping I have a strong need to have her in my arms. When I have her I tend to stare and think of how beautiful she is, how amazing it is that she is a part of me and Kaden and how not too long ago her sweet spirit was still in heaven. All of these thoughts of course lead to me crying but they are so special and I can't describe how blessed they make me feel.

- On Sunday while my mom was here I especially felt how close Leighton has been to heaven. Through out my pregnancy i thought of her spending time with my grandma Joyce who would love her more than anything, the way she loved me, with Jace who would teach her how to tease me and make me feel special at the same time, and with Malcolm and Julie. As soon as i found out i was pregnant i knew Julie would be watching over her, I had a miscarriage a few days after Julie passed away and found comfort then in knowing that baby was still very loved and i had no doubt Julie had it wrapped up in her arms. So i also have thought Leighton spent time with her sibbling as well. Then after Malcolm passed i felt so sad that he wasn't able to hold her or know her, but the other night with my mom i was reminded that he was, he probably taught her how to love and how to receive help and told her all about the family she was being born into.

So Sunday night my mom was taking pictures of my sweet girl as she slept like this.

and after wards she started looking through the hundreds of pictures she had taken of her. (Seriously probably hundreds) and right in middle of the ones of Leighton sleeping with her hands folded was this picture.

Now i know there are ways to save images on iphones from facebook and what not but my mom hardly knows how to even call someone with her phone, let alone get on facebook and save a picture. Finding this was a very surreal moment for all of us. It instantly brought tears to our eyes and a strong spirit into our home. What a neat experience and sweet reminder of how loved we all still are by those who have passed on.