Or should i say marriage advice...?
Kaden has been working like a crazy person ever since he got out of school. When i say crazy person i really mean it. 100+ hours a week is not what any sane person would work. Especially if they worked at a job where they weren't treated well, ever given enough credit, or paid nearly as much as any other person in their same position. (Can you tell the mine is not my favorite place?)
Sometimes it is really frustrating to go at least 12 hours a day with out seeing Kaden and with Leighton running around the house asking for Dada. To add to the frustration I tend to work all day every day as well. I may be home with Leighton but i am usually on the phone with her pulling at my legs or trying to find a high enough place to sit where she won't bang on my computer while i'm sending emails.
So anyways once we finally sit down to dinner at 8:00-9:30 at night we have to take the time to talk and ease one-anothers day, even if it is only for a few minutes. Kaden comes home soooo tired but always willing to help with Leighton and listen to me talk about all of the things i did through out the day. I can not even tell you how supportive it is to me.
What makes Kaden feel supported? I took a few days off of emails and most calls and deep cleaned our entire house. Honestly our bedroom has never looked this good. With the house so spotless it is so much easier to keep everything put away and cleaned during the day. So when Kaden gets home the house is clean. He is honestly somewhat of a clean freak and it makes him so much more comfortable when he walks in to a clean space, especially because he feels like work is such a dirty place. The other thing that he loves is having dinner ready. He is one cranky guy if he is hungry, eating first thing keeps the cranky away.
We are not perfect in this area but we are definitely doing really well in it. We sat down awhile ago and actually talked about what the most important things were that we appreciated from one another and what the things were that we felt were hard for us to deal with. Ever since we have both made such huge efforts and have seen such a difference in how much happier our marriage is and how much easier it is to do things for each other, we only wish we would have thought to do this sooner.
How to support each other?
- do not complain about each others jobs.
- talk about what would help you to feel better everyday.
- make a solid effort to do whatever will help each other overall.
- make time for each other every day.
Why support each other?
To me a marriage is a partnership. Both people need to be willing to do their part to make it work. As much as we all like to think marriage is about being googley eyed in love. It really isn't. No matter how much Kaden and I love each other we would never stay together if we didn't commit to one-another every day to make our marriage succeed. Supporting each other in all of our endeavors is what makes our marriage succeed. When one of us feels a greater weight on shoulders than the other we tend to become frustrated and overwhelmed only causing us to argue more often and have contention in our home. We have come to realize supporting each other is key to our marriage being happy and strong. It helps us to feel like equals in both work and family matters and allows us to communicate more and best of all love more as well. When we were first married i would always say i need to feel more loved and Kaden would say the same thing. Little did we know that our definition of love really meant we needed to feel supported.
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