Thoughts from Sunday

A couple of Sundays ago sacrament seemed to be extra hard to sit through. Em was upset and fussy and had a horrible cough and Leighton had smacked her head on the corner of the hymn book holder and screamed like crazy. When the last song began I instantly felt peace come over me and Leighton bless her heart tried her hardest to sing along. The hymn being sung was because I have been given much. With Leighton's sweet spirit next to me so reverently singing along with the congregation I couldn't help but melt. I probably paid attention to the words more than ever before. It is a beautifuly simple song that reminded me of what I am supposed to be doing with my life. 

Lately I have felt overwhelmed by my role as a mother. It is truly the most rewarding job I have ever had but the most challenging as well. I worry about 99% of the time that I'm not doing enough. That the 5th load of laundry and placing Leighton in front of the tv aren't exactly what I should I be doing with my day. I worry that I don't give my girls enough hugs or kisses and that even though my time is no longer devoted to shool or a real job that I'm not devoting it to the things that I should be. And it's true I am not devoting enough time to The Lord. I haven't been to the temple since Leighton was born. I haven't done my visiting teaching since our ward split last summer and I haven't held a calling for probably close to a year now. 

Because I have been given much, I too must give.

Because of thy great bounty, Lord each day I live.

I shall divide my gifts from thee with every brother that I see,

who has the need of help from me.

Because I have been sheltered, fed by thy good care…

I cannot see another’s lack and I not share-

my glowing fire, my loaf of bread-my roof’s safe shelter over head,

that he too may be comforted.

Because I have been blessed by thy great love dear Lord,

I’ll share thy love again according to thy word.

I shall give love to those in need. I’ll show that love by word and deed,

thus shall my thanks be thanks indeed.

Because of my sweet daughters eagerness to sing these sweet words I realized my feelings of being so much less than what I should be can be eased if I only begin to live how I really should. I know I am blessed. I have been blessed with two beautiful daughters. With a loving husband. Supporting family and amazing friends. Because I have been given much, I too must give. If there is any one goal I am going to work especially hard on this year, it will be this one.