A Mother

This morning i woke up in a huge hotel bed with Emersyn snuggled next to me and Leighton sprawled across Kaden and mine's legs. I laid there in the dark before anyone else moved smiling to myself. I couldn't help but feel so blessed. What a calling i have been given. I am a mother. I have two darling girls that i have opportunity of raising. 

Not every morning feels so picturesque. In fact, most mornings don't. I am usually crawling out of bed with my eyes half open and am counting down the hours until i can lay down again. Honestly, being a mother is probably the hardest thing i will ever do. That might just make being a mother that much more amazing though. It is not for the faint of heart, it is sleepless nights, cleaning the house, making meals, changing bums, stressing about anything and everything, keeping a little human not only alive but well and thriving.

Photos by McKenzie Felt.

I can not think of anything else i would rather be doing. The hard days make the good days that much better. I love spending my days with the girls playing dress up, dancing in the living room, swimming in the tub or running around the back yard. I love our secret laughs, soft kisses, and long hugs. I love when Leighton says mommy when she is loving and yells mom when she is mad. I love that Emersyn only has eyes for me and will literally bend over backwards to see my face. I know there is nothing more spiritual or no other work that can bring me closer to God than that of being a mother. I could not be a mother if i was not entrusted with these spirits and i know that i am because Heavenly Father saw me fit to watch over them. 

I love that today is a day devoted to mothers and all that they do. I could not be the mother that i am with out my mom and Kaden's as well. We have been blessed with amazing parents, but especially amazing mothers. These women put up with two stubborn, strong willed children who demanded a lot of attention and still do. We could not be more grateful for their support in our lives and their love for our girls, they are both the best grandmothers there are! I have always loved this quote and this it fits them perfectly. 

P.S. -The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints released this video. Could it be anymore perfect?

Feeling Smarter Now?

Friday, the 2nd of May, 2014 I graduated from Southern Utah University with a degree in Education. This endeavor took way to long but i finally finished it. No, I won't be teaching now. I applaud all those out there that are teaching now, but at this point in my life it is not for me. I am grateful for the hours and years i put into learning about children, their development, and ways of teaching. There are so many lessons i learned that i apply to my life every day and to the way i intend on raising my own children. The feeling of putting on my cap and gown seemed a little sureal. I had been dreaming about the moment i would be handed my diploma since the day i made the decision to go to college.

Photos by McKenzi Felt (whats a shoot with out a baby?)

When i graduated high school I had no idea who i wanted to be when i grew up but i knew i did not want to waist any more time in a classroom. Sorry to all of my high school teachers, but i didn't learn a whole lot and that was mostly my fault. It wasn't until i moved on a whim and fell into a Montessori teaching job that i found my love for learning and understood the importance of being an educated person. I think this why i majored in education even though i don't care to teach or at least for now, but i do hope to help others find a love for learning. All that we get to take with us after this life are the things we know, i would know very little if i didn't crave to learn. 

After being asked several times on graduation day if i felt any smarter now i just laughed. Now that i have thought about it...yes, i do. If i didn't my time spent in classrooms, computer labs, at the library on practicums, and up late at night would have been for nothing.

My Daughters and Red Balloons

If you have not heard Ryan's story, you can find it here.

His mamma blogs here.

Loss is definitely not easy and hard does not even begin to describe the pain you feel from it. Grief comes in many ways and life that is left, is changed forever. I truly hope that dear little Ryan's parents find their way through what will be the most trying thing they could ever experience and that they may know how many angel's are surrounding them. So many lives have been touched because of Ryan's passing.  Social media has connected all of us and allowed us to be a part of each others lives with out personally knowing one another. 

As i watched the story of Ryan's passing grow and the red balloons fill every square i scrolled past, tears filled my eyes and love filled my heart. I reflected a lot on my girls and what they mean to me. How could i possibly imagine losing either of them? I can't. I pray it is a heart ache i never have to endure. I do not know if i could survive it. My girls have become my whole heart. All of the love i have for anything in my life is somehow connected to them. These two beautiful spirits were entrusted to me and it is my responsibility to show them love, to teach them of heavenly things, and to provide them with strength and safety. I intend to hold them a little longer, shower them with kisses and praise, and pray that they may be safe from them things in the world that are waiting to harm them. I feel like Love is to simple of  a word to describe how i feel about my girls. I hope they may always know how deeply i care for them and that they are the root of who i am. They are my daughters. Leighton and Emersyn are my everything.

Motivate Me Monday- Progress

I graduated! Woo hoo!

 Literally since the second i received my diploma hold i have thought

 "what now?" 

I am not even going to begin on all of the ideas of things i want to venture into

or places i want to go, but in the spirit of MMM 

cheers to progressing!

Motherly Advice {Seek Adventure}

We all know that going to the grocery store with a toddler and 5 month old may be an adventure in itself but somehow i have decided there is a need for more. When we stay home 5 days a week except for visits to the gym we all tend to go a little crazy. Maybe me more than the girls but i am convinced Leighton is way more well behaved when she gets some fresh air and sunshine. 

Now that the sun is out and summer is just around the corner it is time to start planning all the adventures you want to go on. Vacations, day trips, park outings, pool days, whatever your heart desires. Seriously seek after it. Immerse your children in it. 

At the end of last summer i discovered my love for hiking. This year i plan to hike as many times as we possibly can, i am not kidding when i say i want to hike at least once a week. Southern Utah is like one ginormous hikers play ground. How in the world am i supposed to hike with a crazy 2 year old and a baby? It is not easy, I will tell you that right now.

 Courtney and I attempted our first run at it last week. We were not prepared for the hour it took us to sunscreen, chase, change, and pack on all the kids, but now that we have done it once we are convinced it will be easier next time. 

If you are a hiker and want to try it out with your kids here is my advice... always use the buddy system (take another adult), wear sunscreen (at least lather your kids in it), bring a ton of water, and be very very patient. Walking at a toddlers pace is not always easy but if you try to see the hike through their eyes you will enjoy the beauty around you soooo much more.

If i learned anything in all of my child development courses it was that children learn through experiences. These little ones are total sponges just waiting to soak up whatever we allow them to. Go ahead be brave, and seek adventures and take your littles along to experience them with you. 

Motivate Me Monday- The Sweetest Inspirations

What better way to start off the week than with a post full of motivational things. I want to share a MMM weekly full of the sweetest inspirational things i have found on pinterest. These will be my mantras for the week and hopefully they will get me going. 

Last week i felt so blah! I let a lot of  bitter feelings consume me and today i had the most amazing wake up call. I can be grateful for all the amazing things i do have in my life and move on. With that here's to a fresh start and way of nourishing my body.

 Bye Bye Sugar!

eat less sugar

woke up one day

not dieting

Be Happy

What do you do to start the week off right? 

I'd love to know.

Confession- I Need Sugar

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It is 11:15 pm and i am sitting here eating what i think are Reese's cup cookies (my probably future sister in law brought them over) and drinking an apple beer. In about thirty minutes i will have no problem passing out for the rest of the night. Is this a problem? I tend to consume sugar like this all day long. If it isn't candy it is the most sugary thing i can find, I have even been known to resort to chocolate chips and don't judge me... a spoon full of brown sugar. Crazy right!? I honestly thought i was the only girl in the world this addicted to pure sugar until my new friend Jess (really a lost part of my own soul) said that she tends to turn to hidden chocolate chips from time to time as well. Is it because I have an almost 6 month old that is constantly sucking the energy out of me (literally). I don't know, but i need to get off this kick.

As fun as this may sound to constantly eat sweets, its not. I work out so unbelievably hard and my results are not coming fast enough. My skin is gross, I never seem to have the right kind of energy and I  know you want to hear about my mood swings. Lets just say i have considered the possibility of me being bipolar lately. Highs and lows like no ones business.

 Is there a sugar-addict-anonymous out there? If so, sign me up. Next week i am going to try to go sugar free, starting out small with only 5 days, partly because Jess is so i told her to count me in. Hopefully i can handle the with drawls. Until then, I am going to throw away every last peep in this house, that's a start right?

Mmmm Maybe i should eat some nutella pizza before next week.