Spring Has Sprung!

I look forward to spring as soon as Christmas is past and that is quite a wait. It is finally here! At least for the most part and Easter is only a few weeks away. One of my favorite traditions that i have started with for the girls buying them brand new easter dresses. I always loved my frilly little dresses when i was little and hope my girls feel the same way. This years search for the perfect dresses was not easy. Everything seemed to look exactly like last years or was way to casual. 

Here are a my favorites for both the girls and me. Enjoy!

1. old navy 2. zara 3. zara 4. gap 5. gap 6. old navy 7. zara 8. gap

Well of course all four of these are from Anthropologie

1. Firefleur Maxi Skirt 2. Ponte Bell Skirt 3. Chanda Column Dress 4. Peach Blossom Maxi

Motherly Advice {Love More}

Earlier this week a friend told me how horrible she felt for snapping at her daughter. I had to Laugh, has she ever met Leighton? The poor girl gets snapped at daily. Honestly we are lucky if I don't shut myself away for a moment so I don't throw her across the room. 

I told her welcome to the club of Toddler moms and didn't think much of it. Until last night. I cuddled with Leighton and thought for a long time about the difference in Leightons good days and bad. I thought about  how i compare my children and its not fare that i do. Then i thought about how Kaden and I feel about our place within our families. 

I hate to admit it, but it hit me like a ton of bricks. I just need to love more. Both of my babies are loving  and sweet, just in different ways. To communicate with Leighton successfully i need to do it in a loving manor, but in a way that she considers loving, not me. I really need to read Love Language book again and figure out exactly what hers are. But for now Instead of being angry or fighting with her, I am going to work on teaching her and letting her know how absolutely loved she is. 

This doesnt only work for toddlers going through their terrible twos though, love is something everyone wants to feel. Maybe your having a rough time with your spouse, a sibling, or friend. Just make sure they know how much you love them. It never hurts to love more.

Two.

Two is kind of a magical word. Leighton is a very free spirited little girl and when people would ask how old she was they would give me an odd look whenever i said 18 months, or 22 months. Now when i say she is 2, i get a look of understanding and empathy all at the same time. Magic i tell you.

Life would not be half as exciting as it is, with out this wild child in our home. I don't even know how to describe the feelings i have about her being another year older already. She is exploding with words, both real and made up. She loves to be big and loud. She is one of those children that just sucks up attention and demands it. Although she can be very overwhelming you can't help but love her. The second this girl gets tired she wants mom or dad or mamma or dada or laura or daddy. (yes, she calls me laura) I wish the world for this girl. I hope that as she grows she learn how to be a good friend and great sister. I hope she can feel how adored she is and more than that, how loved she is.

Leighton's favorite things consist of the movie frozen, her Anna doll, purses, dresses, freshly picked moccs, boots, and the park. She has became a very picky eater but will eat basically anything for Grandma Nancy. She still hasn't given up her bottle, but we are working on it, as well as potty training. Her favorite animal is fish or bish as she says it. Leighton loves to spend time with her family, visiting Grandma Nancy's is the high light of her week and getting spoiled by Auntie May May is something she is missing already since Sarah left on her mission last week. Papa is one of her best friends, she has always been close with my dad and lights up the second she knows we are visiting him or he walks into our home.

I am excited for this year, to watch Leighton accomplish all of the new milestones that she is heading towards. But i am so sad that my baby is a toddler and growing so quickly. Leighton has kept us on our toes since day one so there is no reason this year wont be any different. We love her so much. We honestly can't imagine her being any different than she is and we truly feel blessed to have such a beautiful, curious, and high maintenance two year old.

Life is Beautiful

As I stood in my living room this afternoon, bouncing Emersyn to sleep I felt overwhelmed with a feeling of comfort. For that brief moment I knew I was doing exactly what I am meant to do.

Ever since I returned home from Nashville I have felt a little lost and out of place. Camille and I decided that it was best if she was the sole owner of the store. I am happy with the decision we made but it doesn't make it any easier. For the past year it has been all I have thought about, worked on and dreamed of. I even forgot I was pregnant because I was so focused on the store. What an adventure the past year has been. I have grown in ways i never knew i could and learned so many things that will help me in any direction i decide to go from here.

Since we won't be moving I feel a need to really find my place here in Utah. To make friends and feel at home with where we are. Hopefully this will be easy for me. I have started planning a redo of our entire house. Last year we spent several months making it ready to sell, now I'm going to take time to make it a place we would like to live.

I am dreaming of new endeavors, planning big things for our future and truly focusing on the two sweet spirits I am blessed to call my daughters. Every day has seemed special and like something was missing at the same time. In my quiet moment earlier i realized for the first time that i didnt feel a need to check my pocket for the store phone. Simple, yet comforting. I have the opportunity to be a mother. I have always wanted to be successful in whatever profession i ended up in. I never only wanted to be a mom. Now i can see how much i misunderstood the role of a mother and how getting to only be a mom is one of the greatest blessings any woman can be given.

Devoting my time to my home, my husband and my daughters is fulfilling. It is not always easy. I need a lot of practice in it. But being home and completely focused on my family truly allows me to see just how beautiful life really is. 

Auntie May May is Serving a Mission

My sister Sarah is off to the MTC today. We chose to stay home while the rest of my family drops her off. I am not sure i would be able to let her out of the car if i were there and I know Leighton definitely would not make it easy for her to leave. Sarah and I have not always been close, but since graduating high school i tried very hard to form a relationship with all of my sisters, especially Sarah. She is now my best friend and really so much more than that. Sarah lived with us for a couple of years while she was in school and got to be here to see Leighton born and every exciting moment of her first year of life. 

Leighton says, Mommy, Daddy and May May like it is completely normal. Every child has a May May right? The person they can go straight to when mom and dad don't give them what they want? 

As excited as i am for my sister i cant help but feel sad that she is leaving. I almost feel a little upset, like how in the world is she okay with leaving me? I know it is totally selfish, but really who am i going to text 100 + times a day to give them a completely useless run down of my day... so leighton just peed her pants, Emerysn just rolled over, look at this ridiculously horrible grammar on someones insta? No one else wants to read my pathetic texts. I am sure she actually didn't care to either. But she did and i got to hear about cross fit, and her cleaning the house for the thousandth time. 

Columbia, South Carolina is gaining the most amazing Sister ever. I know Sarah will do well there. She already loves the south and is so prepared to share her testimony. People are drawn to her and she is easy to talk to and it doesn't hurt that she is one of the most beautiful women you can ever meet. The spirit is so strong when she speaks of the gospel and this is why i know i can let her leave for the next 18 months. The Lord needs her more than i do. There are people out there that need to church in their lives and thanks to two missionaries, I have already been blessed with it in mine. 

As much as i just want to complain about my sister leaving me, i hope she knows how proud i am of her. I don't think i would be the person i am today with out her example to follow. She has always been happy and kind hearted. Somehow she can only see the good in people and i have admired it so. I hope she knows that everyone at home will be praying for her, that she is supported and loved and that even if every day isn't easy, it is worth it. I know that serving a mission will not only bless the lives of others but hers as well. As she loses herself in the Lords work she will learn things that will help her for eternity. I want her to know that i support her because i too know that the church is true. That Joseph Smith was a true prophet and was called of God to restore the gospel to the earth. I know that through righteous living and being sealed in the temple my family can be together forever. To me there can be no greater joy than that which comes from living the standards of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. 

*If you'd like to follow Sarah's mission click here.

Motherly Advice {Being a Holy Woman}

A couple of weeks ago I read the most eye opening little book. Now if you aren't religious don't go running when I say the title is How to be a Holy Woman. This book fell on my head (literally) around Christmas time when I was looking for gifts for a few of the special women in my life. My mother in law passed it on to me after she finished with it. Basically it was about asking yourself what holiness means and how to help yourself to become a holier person.

What did I take from it? What are my priorities? Do i focus on them? How can I use my time for better rather than for useless things. 

I realized if I am going to be better I need to be present in my daughters lives, I stay home with them but it is so easy for me to stick them in front of the tv and focus on the home, work, and working out. While those things are great too they are not what is most important. I need to take time to focus on my childrens needs. 

I also need to work on supporting my husband. I have talked about this a lot. Lately I have felt very upset with how severely under paid he is. I tell him constantly to ask for a raise, his job doesn't appreciate how hard he works, and that they'll never let him move up where he is at. (Even though it's all true) I need to stop. I need to let him know he is a hard worker, that I appreciate how hard he works for our family and that if he is happy with what he does, then I am as well. 

Being a wife and mother is not always easy. I tend to feel like I'm always trying to "keep up". This is the last thing I am going to be working on. If I want to be holier or just better in general, I need to quit comparing myself to others and measure myself only against my past self. Have I improved from where I was a year ago? I'm not sure. But i plan to track my progress this way from now on.

Now on to my advice to you. What do you think a holy woman would do? Are you doing those things? Are you truly striving everyday to be better? If not, then make your own list. Put what you feel is most important at the top and start there. Everytime you feel that slight question in your mind whether what you are doing is right or not ask yourself will this make be a better person, is this what a holy woman would do? If not, change your course of action. I promise it helps. So far it has helped me to be calmer, to enjoy my children more and to see how simple life can be and still feel fulfilling. 

Sickness Has Taken Over

I shouldn't complain because the stomac flu is way way kinder than a lot of other things that people are going through. But I'm going to share anyways.

I have the most dramatic 2 year old ever! She totally gets it from her dad ;) Saturday she would hold her stomach, make groaning noises, throw her head back and then puke. It was awesome! then Sunday she pretended like she was a baby to be held all day and would pay her head and say ouch. Monday she wouldn't wake up. Seriously. I tried so many times to get her to get dressed so we could go to the doctors, luckily I already had an appointment for Em to get her shots. Dr. Polson knew something was wrong when she had to be carried in and never opened her eyes except to ask for a sucker. Poor thing had a super horrible ear infection.

Let me explain how sweet this babe is when she is sick. 

- she says thank you much to everything! I give her a kiss and she looks me in the eyes and says "thank you much" which just melts my heart because I say "thank you sooo much" when she does something extra great.

- she says I love you too even in her sleep. This stubborn girl refuses to say I love you and only because she is stubborn. But now she is sick and will say I lu too. And I LOVE it. 

So far little Em has escaped getting the stomach flu. But she had her shots and those are never fun. (I hate shots!) but Kaden and I probably would have traded in shots for the stomach big we caught. 

Wash your hands people! I swear this was all passed on to ifrom some toys Leighton played with at the local book store. Hopefully everyone feels great tomorrow and Leighton stays sweet. 

*we did wake up feeling way way better on Thursday and my spit fire child is back to normal. 

Stuart

Tonight I am missing Stuart. My pet tortoise passed away on February 20. She had been in my family for 16 years. I can still remember picking her out at Smitty's pet store and being so excited to bring her home. My dad and I were getting baptized that weekend and he let me count out his change jar. $100 in quarters later she was mine. She was perfect. A tiny little sulcata that could fit in the palm of my hand. I dreamed of her being large enough to ride and knew one day my children would be able to. Stuart would rome my room, the backyard, and even the house sometimes. She had such a personality for a tortoise, almost like a more self maintained and less cuddly dog. She had quite a few adventures in her time. She first moved into the back yard under our lemon trees in Lake Elsinore when she was 5 years old. Then after quite the growth spurt and moving to Logandale we let her take over the entire backyard. After our first year or two in Logandale she ran away. I think she was gone for about 3 months when finally one day our neighbor came strolling down the street with Stuart in a stroller. She had made her way out the back gate and across the alfalfa fields to the Staheli home. She managed to find a play house where she was used as a stool by the neighbor kids who thought she was a giant moving rock. I was so happy to have her return. I couldn't imagine her being gone forever back then. And i still can't now. 

It breaks my heart that my kids wont know her and that she wasn't able to out live me. I wish there was more i could have done for her, or that i would have known how sick she was. My heart breaks every time Leighton has asked for turtle this week. The day that Stuart passed away Leighton walked in my parents backyard and headed straight for Stuarts hole saying she was going to look for the turtle. I took her to see Stuart for the last time and she didn't want to leave her side. I loved how my mom said it today after she was buried. Rest in peace gentle giant.

Five Years

Kaden and I celebrated our fifth anniversary on Valentines day. In some ways i can not believe it has already been so long and in others i can't believe it has only been 5 years. In 5 years we have lived in two states, moved 4 times, bought a home, bought a car, attended school, finished school, had several different jobs, visited San Francisco 4 times, Disneyland 7 times, Mexico, Seattle and Nashville once, had three pregnancies and two beautiful daughters. We are so much more in love today than we were the day we said yes to spending eternity together. It is almost silly to think i knew what love was when i was only 19. We were obviously smitten by one another and couldn't stand the thought of not being together forever, but we have truly grown so much over the past few years. We are best friends, we are lovers and we are parents. Kaden works so hard to provide for our little family and make sure we are happy. I hope my loving husband knows how absolutely sure i am that i made the best decision 5 years ago when i committed to an eternity with him by my side. 

She is Blessed

Emersyn Hope Leavitt

was given a name and a blessing on February 9.

Kaden blessed our sweet girl in our ward surrounded by family and few close friends. 

The things that were said were so perfect for our dear Emersyn. She smiled through out her entire blessing and had every man surrounding her smiling back. Our little girl is still so fresh from heaven i can't help but feel a little closer to the Lord every time i hold her. Her blessing said a lot about her testimony and her helping her families testimonies to grow.

Emersyn is 3 Months Old

Happy very late 3 months to Miss Emersyn! 

Seriously she is almost 4 months old now, but these pictures were taken the day she turned 3 months

This dark haired blue eyed girl has two hobbies... blowing bubbles and eating.

Her days consist of sleeping, smiling and being picked on by Leighton.

She is currently working on sitting up and pushing herself up.

Em still loves being swaddled and rocked to sleep.

She is the biggest mommas girl and I am just fine with that.

Emersyn loves cuddles, kisses, and of course Tiffany. 

Those two have really good staring contests. 

She is so strong and has the sweetest spirit. 

 My only wish right now is that she could stay this little forever. 

Her thigh rolls melt my hear and morning smiles make early days so worth while.

Disneyland

I am sure i have at least 5 other posts with the same title, but we went to Disneyland. Kaden started planning this trip months ago, after we decided to move and after he heard about Superbowl weekend being empty. Our move has now been postponed a few months but we still knew we were in desperate need of a fun little family trip and to do something to celebrate our 5th anniversary.

 A few of Leighton's favorites

Melt my heart! Leighton held my hand while we rode the carousel.

This girl just chilled the entire time.

It really was a magical weekend. Leighton was in heaven with all of the music, characters, rides and parades. The first morning we walked into the park for breakfast and Leighton literally danced her way down main street. There is something special about little girls in princess outfits at the happiest place on earth. My family and Uncle Jimi's family were able to come to Disneyland with us and help make the trip that much more fun. We can't wait until both girls are able to enjoy the park together. 

Panties and Pony Tales

If you've  followed my Instagram lately then you should know by now how crazy Leighton is. Ever since our visit to Nashville we have been watching our sweet 1 year old transform into a crazy almost 2 year old that might act more like a teenager than a toddler, minus the boy problems. Heaven help us when this girl discovers the opposite sex. 

Two things we have managed to work on inbetween her shaking her finger and saying no and telling me to go away have  been potty training and doing her hair everyday. She has been awesome with potty training! Only about 1 accident a day and the only time I put a diaper on her is for bed at night. She loves her big girl panties. So much that she put all 6 pairs on when we first got them and ran around yelling woo hoo. 

Her hair has been more of a struggle but if I can distract her with a muffin or a little doot doot (TV) then it turns out pretty cute and she likes to look at it and say pretty. Speaking of pretties Leighton is obsessed with puffy little dresses and skirts. She actually tries to wear a skirt with every outfit and likes to twirl around and watch it flow. We bought her a Minnie Mouse dress the other day and she wanted to sleep with it and then brought it into me at 6:30 in the morning so she could put it on. I actually had to hide it so she'd wear different clothes this weekend. 

As much as I like to point out how crazy and hard she is I wouldn't want her any other way. She is still very sweet and loving and very much her own person. I love seeing her personality grow. I love that she still can't pass up on cuddles or being held. I love that she is still little no matter how big she may seem. And I love that she has really started to take on the role of being a big sister. She has started to hold Emersyn, try to carry her (we don't encourage this), and play with her. The more she talks and accomplishes big girl things the more I know she really will be a great example for Emersyn and she will love having a little sister to boss around. 

Thoughts from Sunday

A couple of Sundays ago sacrament seemed to be extra hard to sit through. Em was upset and fussy and had a horrible cough and Leighton had smacked her head on the corner of the hymn book holder and screamed like crazy. When the last song began I instantly felt peace come over me and Leighton bless her heart tried her hardest to sing along. The hymn being sung was because I have been given much. With Leighton's sweet spirit next to me so reverently singing along with the congregation I couldn't help but melt. I probably paid attention to the words more than ever before. It is a beautifuly simple song that reminded me of what I am supposed to be doing with my life. 

Lately I have felt overwhelmed by my role as a mother. It is truly the most rewarding job I have ever had but the most challenging as well. I worry about 99% of the time that I'm not doing enough. That the 5th load of laundry and placing Leighton in front of the tv aren't exactly what I should I be doing with my day. I worry that I don't give my girls enough hugs or kisses and that even though my time is no longer devoted to shool or a real job that I'm not devoting it to the things that I should be. And it's true I am not devoting enough time to The Lord. I haven't been to the temple since Leighton was born. I haven't done my visiting teaching since our ward split last summer and I haven't held a calling for probably close to a year now. 

Because I have been given much, I too must give.

Because of thy great bounty, Lord each day I live.

I shall divide my gifts from thee with every brother that I see,

who has the need of help from me.

Because I have been sheltered, fed by thy good care…

I cannot see another’s lack and I not share-

my glowing fire, my loaf of bread-my roof’s safe shelter over head,

that he too may be comforted.

Because I have been blessed by thy great love dear Lord,

I’ll share thy love again according to thy word.

I shall give love to those in need. I’ll show that love by word and deed,

thus shall my thanks be thanks indeed.

Because of my sweet daughters eagerness to sing these sweet words I realized my feelings of being so much less than what I should be can be eased if I only begin to live how I really should. I know I am blessed. I have been blessed with two beautiful daughters. With a loving husband. Supporting family and amazing friends. Because I have been given much, I too must give. If there is any one goal I am going to work especially hard on this year, it will be this one. 

2014

Welcoming in a New Year is always such an exciting and well welcomed time but this year I have been facing it with some anxiousness and anxiety. I know with this new year so much change will come and I don't know how much control I will have over it. I don't want my babies to get older or for my sister to leave for a year and a half or especially for Jessica to have to face her cancer. But I know with this new year my girls will grow and continue to bring smiles to our faces, Sarah will bless the lives of others while sharing the gospel and Jessica will be strong and beat the cancer and be an inspiration to everyone around her. 

New Years means new beginnings, the past two years brought new life into our lives and new love with it. (no babies this year) While I try to come up with resolutions every year I felt like it was especially needed now that I have finished school. Here are few that I have so far. 

Spiritual Goals- read scriptures every morning, pray daily with Kaden, teach Leighton to pray, attend the temple monthly and pay tithing regularly.

Physical Goals- exercise daily, be more active, drink juice regularly, no soda, less junk, run more 5ks, run a half marathon.

Mental Goals- read at least 1 book a month, learn new words, write on the blog regularly, help Kaden with his classes. 

Family Goals- make dinner daily, keep the home more organized, go to Disneyland, go to the east coast, move to Nashville. 

I'm sure I'll add more to the list as time goes on but as I am hesitant to start the year as it is I tried to make my goals as achievable as possible. 

I hope that this year is a good one. I hope I can love more, need less and enjoy the simple things that I am blessed with. I pray happiness is overwhelming and growth is welcomed. Ready or not 2014 is here.